This weekend I will be starting the process of updating and changing this website. I will be preparing things for future work and projects. I'll post specifics this weekend, but a few things you can expect:
For most of my adult life I have sported some sort of facial hair, typically a scruffy look (not to long, but not a 5pm shadow either), and sometimes more of a typical full beard (had a goatee at one point too).
So I started fully shaving the other day again for the first time in years. My face looks quite a bit different in this configuration and... no one has said anything?
I'm like, WTF? I do a noticeable change and no one seems to notice? Like, no "nice look" or "what happened to the beard?" or anything.
It's either this looks bad (which I don't think it does?) and people are being nice, or just no one notices or one one cares?
Yeah, so that's a thing.
This weekend was the first of my "weekends" with the kids (I still can't describe how weird it is to be saying that... again).
So over the weekend there was the usual let them do what they are going to do (you know, early teenagers). But in an effort to help bolster their "cultural" knowledge I had them watch three movies with me, one each night (due to scheduling it was a longer weekend).
We watched "The Fugitive," "Minority Report," and "The Last Starfighter." One excellent movie, one good genre flic, and a good old grade B cult classic.
They actually seemed to enjoy all three!
To all mother's out there, Happy Mother's Day!
For me this is a fairly sad "holiday." My mom and grandmothers have all since long passed away, two of them taken long before they were due. I would visit except they're reseting nearly 3,000 miles away.
They were strong women. All three endured a lot in their lives but still came through everything with strength, wisdom, and courage. They were always helpful and usually kind (except when strong words were needed). I didn't get along very well with my mom often, but she was always there if I needed anything regardless of my actions or words.
I do miss them.
Today... has been interesting.
Rough and sad in some aspects, comforting in others. The end of stuff, yet the continuation of others.
Don't really know what to think of it all. I'm sure I've made the right choices, but there is a heavy haze around everything. An obscurity of the paths ahead. What to do? Which to take? What is the right call?
My age doesn't help in this regard. I no longer have as many options to choose or the freedom to choose some.
There is an impatience in me, a desire to have something solid to guide my way, to help me to make the decisions needed for the path ahead. An impatience that no longer has any anchor nor one in sight.
Which only means that I must anchor it. A task I dread for fear of poorly choosing or rethinking the choice that I made. A fear of a life wasted. I am so flexible, so amenable, that choosing purely for myself is a challenge. I challenge which is long overdue, and partly why I've chosen this path to begin with. A challenge which I honestly have no taste for, but for which matters not.
I can only hope that whatever happens I can look back and have been happy with the choices that I make.